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[spryite]

ID: Jude Mathis
journal text (handwriting sample) | action

Comments

closes my eyes and pretends i'm not complicit

[spryite]

[





butt.]

That depends on the cause of the pain, Alphen. Do you know what's causing it?

[why does he have such a FOREBODING feeling about this???]

God we are really doing this

[refire]

Indigestion and likely constipation.

I'm really concerned about it. My friend stays in the bathroom for hours at a time. It's the butt pains that are worrying.

[ Maybe Alphen needs to stop feeding Law so much spice.]

it sure is happening...

[spryite]

[.............Alphen,]

We should have something for that, but more importantly, what has your friend been eating? They haven't always had stomach problems all their lives after every meal, have they?

[Dr. Jude Mathis, honors student alumni of Fennmont's famed Talim Medical Academy and lead research scientist into spyrite tech at the Helioborg Research Laboratories, refuses to write out BUTT on the journal if he can help it,]

Help

[refire]

Meat. They've been eating lots of meat and won't touch vegetables.

I've been trying to get them to eat more balanced meals but it seems to always turn out this way. No, I don't think they always have stomach problems.

What's going on? Do you have any idea why it causes so much agony in the butt?

[ #lawsbutt problems ]

[spryite]

A protein heavy diet lacking in fibres can cause constipation, but the severity and frequency you're describing are not normal. That this hasn't always been an issue supports that too, it sounds like a recent change to their diet may be the cause.

[...]

Just making sure, Alphen. Is it possible you're confusion diarrhea with constipation?

[this is definitely what he spent 3 years in the capital studying for,]

[refire]

[ wow Jude is actually a genius. The mystery has been solved. ]

You know I didn't think of it that way before. Oh my gosh, you're right.

It could be diarrhea.

What should I do to help with butt pains?

[spryite]

[WHY DOES ALPHEN KEEP WRITING BUTT PAINS]

Did you not ask your friend? Whether the discharge is solid and difficult to get out, or too liquid and the flow won't stop?

[he is SO glad this is in writing and not a face-to-face conversation.]

Stay hydrated with drinking lots of water, for starters.

[refire]

[ The butt pains part is very important. very IMPORTANT. ]

He says it's on fire.

It's on FIRE! That's why I'm really worried about my friend. It's not normal for your butt to burn.



[ no, no it's not... ]